I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Anorexia

- Anorexia Nervosa is an Eating Disorder, and more importantly, a Mental Disorder.

- Anorexia effects more women than men, and is usually seen in adolescent females.
This disorder effects about 1% of the population in the U.S.

- People with Anorexia tend to show compulsive behaviors. They may become obsessed with food, and can show symptoms consistent to those of other addictions, in order to control food.

- The extreme amount of dieting can lead to death due to malnutrition. Other health consequences can be heart rhythm disturbances, digestive abnormalities, bone density loss, anemia, as well as hormonal and electrolyte imbalances.

- The treatment of Anorexia must involve more than just the focus on weight, and often involves individual, group, and family therapy. They may also benefit from a nutrition counselor as well.
Anorexia recovery is seen to work more in those who have copious amounts of support from the family.

-Anorexia affects about 1% of the female population, and Bulimia Nervosa affects 1 - 2% of the population between ages 18 and 30.

Symptoms observed in Anorexics, used in diagnosing Anorexia:
-The individual can become seriously underweight, which can lead to depression and social withdrawal.

-The individual can become irritable and easily upset and have difficulty interacting with others.

-Sleep can become disrupted and lead to fatigue during the day.

-Attention and concentration can decrease.

-Most individuals with Anorexia become obsessed with food and thoughts of food. They think about it constantly and become compulsive about eating rituals. They may collect recipes, cut their food into tiny pieces, prepare elaborate calorie-laden meals for other people, or hoard food. Additionally, they may exhibit other obsessions and/or compulsions related to food, weight, or body shape that meet the diagnostic criteria for an obsessive compulsive disorder.

-Other psychiatric problems are also common in people with Anorexia, including affective (mood) disorders, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders.

-Generally, individuals with Anorexia are compliant in every other aspect of their life except for their relationship with food. Sometimes, they are overly compliant, to the extent that they lack adequate self-perception. They are eager to please and strive for perfection. They usually do well in school and may often overextend themselves in a variety of activities. The families of Anorexics often appear to be "perfect." Physical appearances are important to them. Performance in other areas is stressed as well, and they are often high achievers.

-While control and perfection are critical issues for individuals with Anorexia, aspects of their life other than their eating habits are often found to be out of control as well. Many have, or have had at some point in their lives, addictions to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. Compulsions involving sex, exercising, housework, and shopping are not uncommon. In particular, people with Anorexia often exercise compulsively to speed the weight-loss process.

- Heart and circulatory system: Although not life-threatening, an abnormally slow heart rate and unusually low blood pressure are frequent manifestations of starvation and are commonly associated with Anorexia. Others are disturbances in the heart rhythm. A reduction in the work capacity of the heart is associated with severe weight loss and starvation.

- Gastrointestinal complications are also associated with Anorexia. Constipation and abdominal pain are the most common symptoms. The rate at which food is absorbed into the body is slowed down. Starvation and overuse of laxatives can seriously disrupt the body's normal functions involved in the elimination process. While liver function is generally found to be normal, there is evidence of changes in enzyme levels and overall damage to the liver.

- The endocrine system in the body is profoundly affected by Anorexia. The complex physical and chemical processes involved in the maintenance of life can be disrupted, with serious consequences.
- Disturbances in the menstrual cycle are frequent, and secondary amenorrhea (loss of periods) affects about 90% of adolescent girls with Anorexia. Menstrual periods typically return with weight gain and successful treatment. Hormonal imbalances are found in men with Anorexia as well. Continual restrictive eating can trick the thyroid into thinking that the body is starving, causing it to slow down in an attempt to preserve calories.

- Kidney function may appear normal. However, there are significant changes in kidney function in many people with Anorexia, resulting in increased or decreased urination or potentially fatal potassium deficiency.

- Bone density loss is a significant complication of Anorexia, since women acquire 40%-60% of their bone mass during adolescence. Studies have shown that bone loss can occur fairly rapidly in girls with Anorexia. While some studies have shown that bone density may be restored if overall health improves and Anorexia is successfully treated, other studies suggest that an increased risk for fracture may persist later in life.

- Anorexics who use a large quantity of laxatives or who frequently vomit are at great risk for electrolyte imbalance, which can have life-threatening consequences.

- Anemia is frequently found in Anorexic patients. In addition to having fewer red blood cells, people with Anorexia tend to have lower numbers of white blood cells, which play a major role in protecting the body from developing infections. Suppressed immunity and a high risk for infection are suspected but not clinically proven.

- Physical symptoms, other than the obvious loss of weight, can be seen. Anorexia can cause a lower body temperature as well as dry, flaky skin that takes on a yellow tinge. Fine, downy hair grows on the face, back, arms, and legs. Despite this new hair growth, loss of hair on the head is not uncommon. Nails can become brittle. Frequent vomiting can erode dental enamel and eventually lead to tooth loss.

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