Untitled

Well, hi.

Today is Halloween! Not that I ever really celebrate it much. I guess I have never really been social enough to have friends to "party" with. So today I worked. It was suuuuper busy. I mean, keep in mind that I never go to stores on holidays. Never needed to, but today I was there.
And damn. I mean, I was in the parking lot for one hour today, and I almost got hit 3 times for people's ignorance. I mean... and plus I was collecting carts. People would put their carts in-between cars when they saw me coming. It irritated me. But I got through it, and hopefully tomorrow won't be so crazy.

My new apartment is okay. My dad has been starting fights with me over petty shit, such as not knowing why my boyfriend decided to wear a certain jacket on a certain day. Like dude, I am not a mind reader. And then he claimed it was because he wanted to get to know my boyfriend. I told him that if he wanted to get to know A, he should ask him instead of me. He didn't like that.
Also, I work about 10 miles from where I live, and I can't transfer until after 30 days (although I don't know about transferring anymore). I asked my dad to come pick me up ONE time, and as soon as he did he blew up on me saying that i need to get my drivers lisence and a bunch of other stuff like how gas isn't free and I never offer gas money.
It's like he forgets I spent the last two months sleeping in my boyfriends car with no money whatsoever. I couldn't even afford food. Now that I have this apartment, I thought things would get easier. But they arent.
My dad claims that when we signed the lease, we agred to split the rent of $1390/month three ways. I don't think we did, because the other night he brought up the fact that rent is due and when I calculated the numbers.... it meant we would pay $900/month and my dad would pay $450. Does that seem fair?
I mean, my dad occupies a bedroom, a bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen at our apartment. My boyfriend and I occupy a bathroom, a bedroom, a living room, and a kitchen. So how the hell does it make sense for me to pay 2X the amount of rent he is for the same amount of space?
It doesn't. Especially when you consider my situation.
Even working 36-40 hours a week obly brings me $150/week, so $450/month for food, rent, and gas/bus money to and from work. My boyfriend makes anywhere from $400-$700 every two weeks. So realistically, I can't pay $450 in rent uless I plan to starve and not make it to work.
But my dad still refuses to agree to pay half, which would be $700 even for both of us.
I owe $800 to my bank. My dad wants me to get a drivers liscence, a car, and insurance. My grandma wants me to pay $200 for school to get my diploma. My boyfriend wants to see me eat and not self harm.
It's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.
No matter how much I work I will never get paid enough to afford my own rent, without relying on my boyfriend.
I have recently taken to punching things. I makes me feel a lot better and helps me relieve some anger. And the fact that I get paid jack shit makes me want to hit something real bad.

Otherwise, I'm losing weight again. I told my boyfriend that my goal was to lose 20 lbs (jokingly) and he didn't disagree. So that means I am fat and I deserve to lose weight. The proof is in the photo.

But this is all a jumble of all the shit in my head. If it makes any sense at all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.