Last night I went to the store and I bought baby carrots, applesauce, tomatoes, and fat free yogurt.. Basically my allotted food for the week.
Today I had intended to eat only 90 calories in yogurt, but in my rush to leave this morning I forgot it.
When I got to work I swore to myself that I wouldn't eat anything today except that yogurt, after I got off at 10.
My boyfriend offered me ice cream earlier, and I was strong enough to resist.
I was making ranch and cutting celery all day, and not a drop touched my tounge.
When I had to cook, I was strong enough to overlook the smells that infiltrated my will power.
I am zero calories and diet Pepsi and cigarettes. I am pure. I am empty.
I still don't know my weight, but tomorrow morning I will weigh and post my weight. It is long overdue.
I told myself that I was allowed the 90 calories in yogurt earlier, but now I am thinking that since it will already be late, I can just go to bed and skip the food. Which means that I am pure today.
I am not a failure. I am in control.
And I fucking love it.
I will see how tomorrow goes, and hopefully it will be the same as today. I control what I eat. I am in control.
My boyfriend will no longer make me feel bad for wanting to eat and be normal. No more guilt.
I am strong.
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