I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Happy New Year

It wasn't a bad night for me at all, although I didn't get to watch the ball drop.

But now it is 2015. A new year.
Last year on January 1, I weighed 167.5lbs. Today, on January 1, I weigh 148.8lbs.

I know I lost more than this initially this year, but ten I gained a little back. So I stand at a total of 18.7lbs lost last year. Not bad, since it is getting harder and harder to lose weight.

My goal by my birthday was 123lbs. I don't think I can get there.
But I will get as close as possible. 44 days.
I would love to not be fat on my birthday.

I think I am also gonna set up a system where I fast as many hours of the week as I can, recording when I fast and when I eat. Then, at the end of the week, I total up my hours spent fasting, and kind of grade myself on it.
Not sure if this will work, but it is a way to keep myself accountable.

Anyways, that's my update.

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5 comments:

  1. BellaJanuary 1, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    Happy New Year!
    I was recording what times I started and finished eating each day for a few months. I think I averaged around 16hrs a day. I don't think it effected my weight much, but I'll write down anything and everything I can.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. LeeTiger28January 3, 2015 at 8:28 PM

    Happy New Year!
    I haven't heard from you in awhile, but my phone is messing up a little bit so that may account for it. We don't know each other all that well, but I do care about you and it breaks my heart to read about your struggles. Take care.
    <3 Lee

    ReplyDelete
  3. Katie ElizabethJanuary 5, 2015 at 8:32 AM

    It's great to hear that you had a Happy New Year. And it was great to hear an update from you the other day. Things are looking up for you, even if it's just little things. You're strong and beautiful and I love you.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  4. BellaJanuary 6, 2015 at 11:54 PM

    Hey J,

    My weight has stayed pretty stagnant for the last few years, so it really didn't have much effect on my weight, though usually my calorie intake is lower when I only eat in small windows of time. It was more something to focus on, another thing to write down. I'm addicted to note-taking :)

    Take care <3
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2015 at 3:18 PM

    Hey you! I'm glad your holidays/new year were alright. I think things are improving for you - the situation with the boyfriend went a lot better than what we were discussing might happen. Keep you head up, and congratulation on the new job! I'll text you about that :) XO Calla

    ReplyDelete

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