Feeling Sick and Restless

Yesterday I was taken to the doctor because we thought I had Strep. I ended up testing negative, so they started thinking it was Mono, but again I tested negative. After a few more tests, I got diagnosed withTonsillitis. So now I'm on antibiotics for the next 4 days.

With that being said, everyone is trying to get me to eat food. Yesterday was kind of a binge.. But somehow I haven't gained. Still in that plateau.

I'm eating significantly less food today. I've had half of a banana and an omelette, a pancake with syrup, and a glass of apple juice. But it's only 9am here and I've been up since 3am. So I've got all day to burn that off, plus probably another 200 cals (I have to eat something for lunch and dinner with my meds, though low cal).. Think I can do it? I can.

I'm gonna be hoping for a loss tomorrow. 

I've got this strange thing going on with my stomach. I'll be standing or sitting somewhere and feel absolutely fine. Then 2 seconds later, without any warning I'll throw up. It sucks, and it happens even if my stomach is empty.

So I've been taking some anti-puke pills and they help a little bit.

I'm enjoying my spring break, for the most part.

I just can't think about school or I'll start panicking

All I want to do is sleep. Either that or go for a run, though that option is kind of out of the question for a while. But it makes me feel fat.

I didn't sleep much last night (only from like 11 to 3am) and then I was up, so I smoked a bunch of weed and when I got back from breakfast, I slept from about 9 to 3. Ugh. Even if my body needed it, I hate it. I'd rather be awake during the day.

I've been feeling suicidal again, and yet again there's nothing I can do except shut down and just be. Not feel, not think. My arms pay the price.

It's a beautiful day outside, but there's nothing to do. At least it feels like Spring a little. It's still only 36 degrees here, though.

I'm gonna try to enjoy it while I can.

I'm addicted to listening to Eminem. I'm not sure why, but I like his music. Anyone else listen to him?

Well, that's really all I've got to say. I hope everyone else has a good day too.