I knew it was probably going to happen. I was preparing myself for it, but apparently not enough. I layed in bed last night an it took everything I had not to text or call him and take back everything. But I keep trying to make myself believe it is for the best. We agreed on staying friends, but I'm not sure that's even possible.
How do you go from loving someone to "just being friends"? Even so, I don't want to lose him, not after everything we've been through together.
But I'm okay with knowing that why I did is for his benefit as well as mine. We both deserve to be happy. But 3 years is a long ass time.
No work got done yesterday, and then I was going to wake up early this morning to do it... But that failed too. Then I had about a half hour before my first class this morning, and I didn't get anything done there either. I have 3 days left before I can forget about it all for a while. Why is it so hard?
My mom got some mushrooms for her birthday which is on Sunday. She wants me to spend it with her and tripp. So that should make for an interesting weekend.
I have 3 classes today, and I'm not excited about any of them. I just want it all to be over, and tomorrow too, and Fiday. I want to not stress out so much. But j can't slack off for these three days. So I'm going to try to shit my mind off as much as possible and just get through these days.
I'm sorry to hear that you guys broke up, but I hope that you feel relief and maybe a shred of happiness. I'm thinking about you.
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I feel peace. I feel free. That's enough for me, even with the downsides. Thank you though. Xx <3
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