I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Friday, March 28, 2014

Just Thinking

The scale definitely said something I didn't like this morning. Ugh. I knew it was going to, despite the laxies.
It's late afternoon here, an so far I've fasted all day. I've had diet dr. Pepper, coffee, and some water, and no more.

I know I have to lose weight.
I went shopping earlier, and I was thinking about dresses. I've never been much for them, but now I'm starting to want some. :P (kill me before I get too girly here) But I want to be able to wear them and look pretty... Which means losing weight. I've got all kinds of ideas that have to make my weight go down. I've got all weekend to do it, too. Wish me luck!!

I'm finally not sick anymore, which I'm happy about. (: the only symptom that I have is my ear infection, but there's nothing I can do for that. I'm just happy to be off the fucking steroids. They were all kinds of wrong.

I've just got to remember to just keep breathing, despite how much I don't want to. Just more second, just one more minute, just one more day.
April 1st is coming up. If you've followed my blog for at least a year, you'll know what I'm talking about.
My impulses are growing stronger, and I'm feeling slightly less inclined to fight them off. It'd be the perfect date. Sick and twisted, but perfect nonetheless.
-sigh- it's whatever.

Anyways, I hope you're having a good day. Seeya.
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