It's been sunny and warm here, for the most part. At least during the day. I love it! I can feel Spring coming, and it makes me super excited.
This TCAP testing is messing with my schedule, and it's kind of crazy. But next Tuesday I have no school (Thanks to TC(r)AP. So I'm pretty psyched.
My weight has been going down, though by how much I'm not sure. Last I weighed was 161 (partially dressed) and I was bloated. So I know I'm in the 150's. Which I'm happy about. I just want this fucking bloating to stop...
Whoever said laxatives don't aid in weightloss is wrong, because I'm pretty sure that's the only way I've been losing weight. But hey! I'll take it. A loss is a loss.
Anyways, I just wanted to update here.. As I haven't in a few days. I had a high-calorie lunch, and took 6 laxies. It's been almost 5 hours and they still haven't kicked in. I'm debating whether or not to eat dinner and take more laxies... I need to feel empty again.
I hate how everything feels unstable right now, and like if I take one wrong step I'm done for. Life isn't supposed to be like that, or maybe it is. What the hell do I know? But I guess if I can't enjoy it, I can at least grin and bear it - until I figure out what the hell I'm gonna do. We'll see how well that works out.
I hope everyone reading this has a groovy kind of day! (; Appreciate the small things and try not to stress so much.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
I know I'm loving the weather as well. I am going to wear a dress tomorrow. Laxies do help in water weight loss. That's why you have to make sure you stay hydrated =) I hope everything else is going well for you. Can't wait to see you this weekend.
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I do try to stay hydrated, but it's hard. Thanks. Xx
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