Break (me) down

Everything in life is too much.
There is too much to comprehend and not enough of me.
I quit my job today, because I wasn't hardly getting any hours, and I cannot afford that anymore. So instead of doing it the right way, I neither called them nor found someone to cover my four hour shift today.
I am still homeless, and living in hotels. Until I can't anymore, and that thought is what scares me.
Every time we find an apartment to look into, we don't meet the requirements and it is just to get rejected. But that takes its' toll, too.
I am not ready to take on so much of the world right now. I am not strong enough.

I got no sleep last night and it seems to have made me more irritable than usual. I have pretty much constantly argued with my boyfriend today, and I am just tired. I want to hold up my white flag and say
NO MORE

Without having a job, that means our only source of income is from my boyfriend. He says it is fine, but I hate putting all of the burden on him.
And maybe part of me is scared that once I am free of a job, I won't want to go back.

First and foremost, I need a place to live. I need a car as well, but I can't start saving up for that until I have a stable place to sleep and don't have to spend ridiculous money on hotels.
I need my drivers licences, but that only gives me anxiety and I don't want to drive.
I need my GED. That is a given, but I need money and I need time to study without the surrounding stress that is literally driving me mad.
So it will have to wait, like everything else. Ugh.
It seems to be just one thing after another that is holding me back. Always back, never forwards.

I used to say that the cause of all of my stress was because I had an unstable life. Today made me realize something though. My life is not unstable, I am what is unstable in my life.
I feel like people keep adding parts of me up and no matter what way you fit the pieces, I still amount to nothing.

I want to cut.
I want to run away.
I want to burn.
I want to starve.
I am nothing
And I have no power.
I am worthless.