I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I'm Gonna Gain

I haven't been able to fast as much as I want to. Yesterday I ate kind of a lot because I was with my best friend almost all day. I took a bunch of laxies though and woke up wonderfully empty today. I didn't fast today either, but I've had 630 calories. I had:
3 creme de piroline sticks (150)
2 fruit roll ups (180)
6 sour cream and onion chips (160)
1 Mountain Dew (140)

So that's not bad if you factor in my walking (100) and purging. So that makes my total 530. I can deal with that, almost... I'm gonna do more exercise.

I'm anxious to weigh tomorrow, if I get the chance. I need to lose weight, not gain it.
I've been with my best friend all day today too, which is why I've eaten so much. But I figure I will be fasting and exercising tomorrow as I have to pack. So hopefully I will lose.

My phone was stolen a few days ago, and I bought a new one off of Amazon for $40. It's supposed to be here this Friday or next Monday. I hope it gets here soon. I never realized just how much I need it or how often I use it, even for little things.

Other than that, nothing is really happening. I got a job but don't start for another week, which sucks. I want to start now. 

Anyways. These laxies are making me feel really sick. So I'm gonna go lie down. I have a busy day tomorrow.
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 8, 2014 at 4:12 PM

    It's hard not to eat when you're with other people. At least your friend got to see you eating. The intake could have been a lot higher, so well done girl! Don't rush into working again, enjoy your time off as much as possible! Relax and do things to make yourself happy :)

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