I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wednesday, February 13

Can anyone guess what today is?
Just take a guess.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! ^_^
For once, I'm actually happy about that fact.

I never like my birthday. It's just another day for attention, and I hate attention.
Today, however, is actually a really good day.

My dad started with waking up at 5 am, because Cimiron called me to wish me a happy birthday. I mean, it's 7 for him, and it was wayy early for me, but actually, I didn't mind. I thought it was sweet, and it definitely made my day! Then I got to school, and I thought everyone was gonna make a big deal about my birthday, but really, it's just been relaxing. My math class sang the birthday song to me, but otherwise, nobodies really said anything about it. (:
I don't have any plans for my birthday, it's just going to be another day filled with endless homework, and chores. I seriously have so much homework right now, it's a wonder I'm still alive. I keep procrastinating, and  it keeps piling up. But, alas, this weekend (Friday - Monday as I have no school for either days, and no competition this weekend) I will catch up on all my work. All of it. So for now I'm just waiting. :D I also want to do something this weekend, because I mean... C'mon! I'm 17, and I have to do something for my birthday. I have yet to find someone to hang out with or do something with yet, though. Guess I'll just keep trying!

I think later tonight, we're going out to dinner. Not my favorite thing to do, and I'm a bit worried. My brother (the other wayyyy older one) is supposed to call me at 7ish. I haven't talked to him since I was a little kid. And though we've been writing, it might be nice to talk to him. I'm also scared though, because I might run out of things to say, and then it'd just be really awkward.
I dunno.

Today's been really good though. I did and still do have a lot of anxiety, but it only started about an hour ago. So I figure that if I can run or walk after I get out of school, it might help. Just so I don't have to think. I think I'm finally starting to be more positive though, and for that I am so happy!!!

Anyways, I just kinda left in the middle of class to write this... So back to class I shall go! (:
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6 comments:

  1. Emily AnonymousFebruary 13, 2013 at 9:08 PM

    Haha, I love that you left class to post.
    Happy Birthday! I'm surprised that you don't like a lot of attention for it- I know I would, but maybe that's because I usually get none.
    Have a happy birthday and enjoy yourself!

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    Replies
    1. J (:February 14, 2013 at 1:21 PM

      Yeah, I just kinda left. I wanted to. (:
      Thanks for the birthday wish! ^_^ I have never like attention. I've always wanted to be in the background. When's your birthday?!

      Delete
  2. KatFebruary 14, 2013 at 7:59 AM

    HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY! I hope it was a blast! 17 is a good age. Enjoy it while you can because soon you will legally be considered an adult! Which sounds nice, but it also kinda sucks. I wish I could go back to being 17 and having less responsibilities!

    Hope you had a nice chat with your brother! Family is forever so don't worry about awkward conversations lol

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    Replies
    1. J (:February 14, 2013 at 1:24 PM

      I can't wait to be 18. I will go to college, and explore the world, and sure, i'll have responsibilities, but i'll also have control. That's something i'm looking forward to.
      I never got to talk to my brother but oh well. It was kinda my fault. My birthday went pretty well. :D

      Delete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 15, 2013 at 3:12 AM

    Happy late{ish} birthday! :) Sorry that you didn't get to talk to your brother, I hope you still had a good day lovely ♥

    ReplyDelete

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