I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Hi there.

The last time I wrote here feels like ages ago. I feel like a lot in me has changed. A lot of things have happened. I'll try not to go into too much detail, otherwise this post would be super long.
If anyone is reading this.

Try not to judge me too harshly.

I've been sick with Strep for roughly the last two weeks. I haven't eaten anything in a couple of days and I know I'm losing weight, though I don't know how much.

I finally fit into a small of youth yoga pants and my smallest pants are slightly big on me.

I had a small pregnancy scare, but lucky for me it turns out I'm not pregnant. So happy for that.
Since then I've definitely made an attempt to be smarter..

I tried some dangerous drugs, and liked it. I can't really admit that to anyone... So it's gonna have to be said here, where nobody can find it.
I haven't decided if I want more yet.

After fasting for the last 3 days, I ate 380 calories. I took a couple laxatives and am gonna be fasting for a couple more days starting tomorrow. I guess only through just straight starving can I lose weight. I'm anxious to know my actual weight though.

I fucked myself over in school and now I just have to deal with it. There's really nothing much I can do except star tfrom now, do the best I can, and hope for the best.

Wish me luck.

2 comments:

  1. What happened with school, love? Also, what size pants do you wear? XO I am confident in your ability to graduate. XO

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    Replies
    1. All the ones I had we're size 11. Though I have yet to actually find some that fit both in length and in size. School is just school.

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