I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Done.

7/18/14
My favorite binge food?
Hot french fries with nacho cheese.
Disgusting, I know.
Not to mention how rediculosly high in calories it must be.

The scale said 145 yesterday morning, and now that it's about 2am, I have ruined my chances of weighing for the day. I really should take laxies...

I can't believe I passed out earlier. I'm so fucking weak. I hate that I can't just starve in peace. I'm pathetic. Right now it is 2:07am. I will be fasting for the rest of tomorrow. So maybe it will all work out?

Not to mention starving. I can't have my cake and try to eat it, too. I need to be strong. Empty. Pure. Weightless. Zero. And I will not achieve that by stuffing my face. I wish I had someone to talk to, but most everyone has faded away or recovered. And good for them, because they shouldn't have to suffer from this horrendous disease. I do, though. At least until I can say I have had enough. Assuming it doesn't kill me first.

Oh, how I wish I could cut. And purge. *sigh* I will burn in hell for that, but it's true. And since I'm going to hell anyways, I might as well make it worth my while.

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