Mmm

Another day, come and gone.
My second interview went okay... now I just have to wait to hear from someone. I hope it goes well.

I ate too much today. Way too much. But I took laxies. So I guess I wait and see, and do more damage control tomorrow if necessary. I will NOT start fucking December up already.

I managed to fall back asleep for a little bit longer this morning, after I smoked a bowl. But I am still tired and ready for bed and it's barely 9pm. Taking laxatives takes it's toll on me with the nausea. I guess I need to rebuild my tolerance to them.

My boyfriend got sent home from work today, and he's called in a few other days as well. I'm starting to worry that we won't have enough money at the end of the week to be okay.
We HAVE to pay a $360 loan, in full.
He needs to pay a $450 ticket so he can avoid jail.
I need to balance out my bank account and keep it that way.
Is it all possible?
We were gonna buy an e-cig so we could save money and quit smoking cigarettes. These things all seem necessary, but I have to remind myself that it can't all happen at once, especially since I still don't have a job. We aren't even sure how much his check is gonna be, and he needs gas get to work until the next paycheck.

It's all so overwhelming. The urge to self harm and the self harm thoughts are becoming more frequent. They flash through my head at least 20 times a day. But I have to keep it in check.
I have to remember to breathe.

These laxies should kick in about 2am, so maybe I should try to get some sleep. *sigh*