I think my perspective on things is starting to change. I'm feeling optimistic, and while that is probably just my excitement over going on vacation in 2 days talking, I hope it sticks around for a while.
There is a downside, I am so bloated, I swear I've gained like 5 lbs. Probably more. I have insane cramps, and I would take some Ibuprofen to help, but that requires eating first, and to that I say hell no.
It's getting easier and easier to just not eat. Especially when I can't even stand to touch myself. Like let my hand brush my leg, or go anywhere without wearing my giant baggy hoodie. I pretty much live in that thing, because I can't stand to see myself without it.
I suppose this should only last a week though, and if I don't eat, by the time I'm not bloated anymore, I'll be even skinnier! So I guess it's a good thing??
Today isn't gonna be interesting for me. I'll probably just clean my room, maybe do some homework, and listen to music once I get back from doing my errands. I have to walk like 12 miles, no joke. Just because I lost my bus pass. -_- But yay for exercise!!!
I'm such an exciting person. Haha. Not really.
But such is my life. (:
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
If I wasn't so busy today, I would come down and run you around for your errands =) I hope your positive attitude sticks around. I'm sorry that you're so bloated. That's how I felt yesterday. I hated it. I lived in my big heavy jacket all day yesterday because of it. I'm not going to see you before you leave =( and by the time you come back, I'll be in treatment. Stay strong darlin.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
:( I do hope everything goes well, but i'm sad that I won't get to see you again before I leave. I love my baggy hoodie. It's so warm, and it just makes me feel better because it hides my midsection, the part of me I hate most. I hope today is a better day for you. Xxx
DeleteYay for optimism! I hope it sticks.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I tell myself I'm boring all the time because I do boring things every day. But that means nothing. Everyone does boring things. So just enjoy your day!
I did end up enjoying my day, mostly. There were some points where I was just like... FUCK YOU. But overall, it was pretty good. Now to see if I can maintain that.
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