My dad is putting me in the hospital to pump me with anti-biotics for my strep AND to remove my tonsils in the same day. I'm fucked...
I'm so scared that they're gonna see my legs and that they're gonna freak and tell my dad and he will freak and stick me in a psych ward.
I'm so scared... I don't want this. I wish I could just run away.. I don't want to go tomorrow!!!
I just need time. Just a little bit of time to let my cuts heal and then they can take me to the hospital and do whatever they wish. I can't go tomorrow...
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!!!!!!
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
The worst that can happen is that they'll put you in a psych ward, right? And if you're in a psych ward, you'll be away from your dad, so he won't be able to take any anger out on you. You'll get help dealing with the stuff that's making you lean towards cutting.
ReplyDeleteI know you're scared, but whatever happens, you'll come out better from it.
I really hope so. The thing is though, it would just be a waste of his time. I don't want help. So if he put me there, it wouldn't really do any good, because I don't want to stop, exactly.
DeleteI don't know what I want anymore.