We met through a creative writing thing we were going to try to start up at my school. He is an amazing artist.
We quickly became friends and he wanted to hang out all the time, talk all the time, be around me all the time. He was so honest with me. And I him. For a while. I tried telling him that we couldn't be friends, because that would end in him getting hurt. he told me about his ex step-dad and how he treated him like shit. How he doesn't think after that I could do anything to hurt him. I didn't care. I just told him no, we can't be friends.
He found a way to hang out with me, completely disregarded everything I said. And then I pushed again, saying we couldn't be friends, that we weren't and that he should just go away. He still didn't take the hint. I've tried this a good share of times. It doesn't work.
I told him about how k was having some issues that I needed to deal with on my own right now, and that therefore I didn't want any friends. He got really nosy and tried to help. But I didn't want his help.
He didn't listen.
It's been like that for a while. And keep in mind, I've made him cry. I've hurt him enough to make him cry, and god damn. It makes me feel like utter shit. I hate it. But if he crys over something I said, and hates me, so be it.
Anyways, about 2 nights ago, he met Ana. My eating disorder. Or rather, he met the dark side of me. I was a total bitch to him, but he didn't listen - still. I'll post a bit of the conversation, just so you can understand.
I'm gonna call him A.
Me: If promises are meant to be broken, then you've given me even more of a reason not to trust you. Whatever. Just get over me, give up. Otherwise, you're just gonna hurt yourself.
A: Some promises are not all of them. I've kept secrets if that's what you are saying. I am not the piece of shit jerks who go tell their best friends. Sorry but that's the nicest thing I have to say for people like them. I've had that done to me, I will never go down that path. It's worse to see someone close to you do it to you and a friend. You really don't know me then if you say to give up because I'm gonna get myself hurt. I've been hurt, but never by you.
Me:Whatever. I guess you will do whatever you want. But you SHOULD give up. You SHOULD leave me alone. You SHOULD just accept it. You and I are not friends. We will never be friends. It's as simple and as harsh as that.
A: Give me a reason. One damn reason, okay?
Me: I don't want friends. I'm fine on my own.
A: How am I going to get hurt?
Me: That doesn't even matter anymore. I'm tired of this argument. Just LISTEN TO ME.
A: Fine. I'll text you on Christmas day to say I've got your present. Then I'll be gone.
The next day he hung out with me like nothing had ever happened. I've told him to fuck off before. He doesn't listen. And he makes me feel guilty for telling him to go away. I don't know what to do. I just want to be left alone. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to be friends with him. I don't want to hang out with him. I just want to be on my own again.
I don't know how else to go about this.
Any ideas?
It's really awesome of you to go with the direct approach. I'd never have the courage to do that. I'd say just avoid the guy as much as possible. Don't answer his texts. Sounds like he's madly in love with you, to be honest. Cold shoulder. As much cold shoulder as possible.
ReplyDeleteI know that he has a crush on me. But he know's I'm dating Cimiron. So I guess I don't know.
DeleteI intend to give him the cold shoulder. Otherwise, i'm just gonna get really rude. And I would hate to do that. Thank you. Xx
I guess I kinda want to know why you want to push him away? He sounds like he really wants to help and be in your life. But if that isn't what you want, then I agree with Nichole and don't answer his texts. I hope you can come up with something.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
I want to push him away for a lot of reasons. To save a really lengthy explanation, i'll give a few reasons.
Delete1. He always wants to know what i'm doing. I have to lie to him so much because I refuse to tell him about Ana or any of my problems.
This is because 2. I just got hurt by someone I let in and thought was my best friend, but she stabbed me in the back. I don't want a repeat. Also, 3. I don't need friends. Nor do I really want them here. People from my blog and such are cool, but I don't need any new friends here. I guess part of it is also that he relies on me a lot. I hate that because I know i'll let him down. I know this.
Things like that. He is too nice. And he's kinda clingy. I'm used to spending all my time alone. I prefer it, to be honest. But he is always finding me, he always wants to hang out, he always wants to talk, and I never have any me time. Put all of that together, and I just don't want to be friends.
Make any sense?
Thanks for the advice though. Xx