No Creativity.

I started this project, in my room. I was tired of it being blank, so I started redecorating. With that redecorating, came the cleaning. Organizing. Sub-organizing. Alphabetizing. It's gotten kinda bad.
I want to do everything at once and ever time I do something new, I have to redo everything else too. Never good enough.
So far I've been at this for almost 3 days, and I'm nowhere near close.
I hold on to things that I never will use, or that I don't need, because I'm afraid of letting it go. I'm afraid that if I let go, I might let go of something important. (Metaphorical much? Philisophical?)
I've got a box in my room though, and I'm putting things in it that I don't want/won't use/don't know what to do with. I thought it would help. It has, but it's also made me feel really guilty.
I had a meltdown a while back (like a few months) and I destroyed/hid everything in my room that showed my personality. Or almost everything anyways. I hid everything that had 'me' in it. I thought that would make me feel better.
Now I'm tired of my bare walls, so I'm putting it all back up.
This is apparently a family trait. I hate it. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to fit in.
I just... I want to be normal.
Maybe when I'm done with my room, i'll feel more individual, more sane. More me. Whoever that is.