I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Dark thoughts creeping in
I am trying to stay positive, but even that is a challenge. I can feel the dark thoughts in my head, feel all of it. I feel physically sick because of it. I feel like a failure, because I have so much self hate inside of me, but even then I can't do anything about it. I am weak. I hate this. I wish I could just abstain from food forever, or find a sharp knife and cut it all off. I don't even want to write it out. I just want to stop hurting people, but not myself. I wish I could take the pain I inflict upon them and turn it towards me. All of it. I deserve it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I feel exactly the same. I have been wanting to self harm for a few days now, but my boyfriend has his eyes on me. You're such a sweet girl. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
I am glad you can't self harm. It really doesn't do anything to help, but I understand wanting to. I still have scars that are trying to fade, I hope they fade before I go to Hawaii. I don't want my dad to see them.
DeleteThank you. Love you too. Xx
You're so nice to talk to.
You don't deserve it. You're not weak- people are made to eat. It's natural that you can't resist. All there is to do is try try again, and every try brings you closer to achieving your goal.
ReplyDelete*hug*
In a way, you're right. But at the same time, I also feel like the dark thoughts are getting harder to push through. That it is getting harder to "Get up and try again." I don't even know.
DeleteThank you though. Xxx