More and more things are wrong with me. Or I feel like they are. I have realized just how much I rely on other people, and I hate it. How much I let others do for me, how much I don't do for myself. I don't know.
I just want to be independent. I feel like that is not gong to well recently. I just feel so low. Almost everything I say is negative. I remember this one kid, an ex of someone I used to be friends with. He was so depressed, so negative. Eventually I stopped hanging out with him because i just couldn't take his negativity anymore. I didn't want to be around it.
So I guess I can't blame people for doing that to me.
I promise I will be more positive. I promise. This is not good, and I will be better. Better and skinnier. I will. I'm sorry.... To everyone reading this.... I'm sorry I've been so negative. I promise to be more optimistic.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
Darling! We're all dealing with a lot... Please don't be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you want to aim to be more positive, that's wonderful, and I should probably take a lesson in it, but don't be too hard or fake with yourself...
ReplyDeleteWe're allowed to be low sometimes.
-Emma
I feel like I've exceeded that period of being "low" and now it's just getting ridiculous. That's why I have to stop.
DeleteEveryone knows what you're going through<3
ReplyDeleteIt just feels like wayy too much. So I want to pull back into myself - shut people out. I feel guilty for needing people.
DeleteLove you sweetie. Keep your head up dear.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Thank you. Xx
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