I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Optimismish!

That's right. If you understood that word at all, then good for you. But if you didn't, don't worry. It's my word.

I passed my History test yesterday... Didn't do as well as I could have, but definitely much better than all the other tests I've taken in that class. I got a 75% this time, compared to the way low scores I had gotten.
So I'm excited about that! Also, I know I will ace that final, I do believe I take it tomorrow. Right now I have a 72% overall in that class, but the final should bring that up. (:

I take my Psych final today, in about 30 minutes! And I've prepared so much - I know I will ace it! It feels good, because maybe then that will bring my grade up into the B range... which is where I want it to be. (:

I still have to work on my Spanish final, and my English final, but I am trying to not stress about it. English should be easy, the hard one is Spanish. But I can do it!


So in regards to my title of this post - I've been pretty pessimistic lately. And I'm tired of it. I want to smile and laugh, and be happy for once. So I am. I am going to try to be positive and keep my mood up for the rest of today. It's a Tuesday, and I know that the week is far from over. But I've got this. In Chem, I was having such a hard time understanding Stoichiometry, if any of you know what that is. I had 2 people try to explain it to me, but I still couldn't understand it.
Finally, last night, I just did. It just clicked, and though I still can't do it without my notes, I am so happy to say that I am finally getting it!

I have no idea what I weigh - and right now, I don't care to know. I'm in a good mood, and it just doesn't matter. I know that when I get home, I know the first thing I will do is weigh myself, but for right now, I'm just happy.

It feels so good.

I can't wait for the week to be over. I just want a break! Time to breathe, relax, stop stressing. I am also going to try to make plans with a friend. Any friend. If I have any left. Just to get away from being by myself, and I'm going to try to laugh and smile and have a good time. Instead of being so negative. Bleh.

It's a good day!

How is everyone else?
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3 comments:

  1. Katie ElizabethDecember 18, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    That's awesome you passed your test. I'm sure you'll do great on the other ones as well. I'm happy to hear that you are in a great mood, and that you're going to try to get out and do something with a friend. Keep up the great attitude.
    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. J (:December 18, 2012 at 1:54 PM

      Thanks! It has been a pretty good day - and I hope to keep it that way. I still can't wait for the week to be over though. :D
      How are you darling?
      Xx

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    2. Katie ElizabethDecember 18, 2012 at 1:57 PM

      Eh, I'm doing alright. I was going to see if you could email me, because for some reason my computer won't let me email you. My email is holdensmommy89@gmail.com

      Delete

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