Who am I kidding?
I KNOW that I can't expect someone to help me.
I have to help myself.
I KNOW that I can't just sit back and wait for everything to get better.
I have to go and actively make it better myself.
That last post is bullshit.
I'm sorry.
I KNOW that I can't rely on other people.
I have only myself to rely on.
So why do I keep wishing all of this would just happen?
I am not putting in the adaquate effort.
I am a joke.
Obviously I don't want anything to change. I just want to sit here and complain about it.
I am worthless.
People should just stop reading my blog.
All I do is wallow in self pity.
"Poor me, poor me.."
Whatever.
I am pathetic.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
Maybe you need someone to give you the first push? It's easier to help yourself once you realize that someone else stands behind you.
ReplyDeleteAsk for help. It won't take as much effort as doing everything on your own, and once you do get help, you can let the person take over for a bit.
Ask for help with what though? Everything is so broken I don't even know where to start..
Delete