I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Frrrriiiidayy!!

Ahhh!! It's Friday!!
So... It's Friday!!!
All in all, I think this week has been alright. I was supposed to get up at 5 this morning to do some crunches, take a shower, and get ready for school. Leaving time to get some work done. Last night after I got home from practice, I was so tired I literally fell asleep on my books... They're not comfortable. xD
But, alas, that didn't happen? Why? Because when my alarm went off, I decided that I wanted to sleep more, so I went back to sleep for an hour. I must have slept a total of like 8 1/2 hours last night... Which is like double my usual amount. Yeah, I usually sleep like 4 hours a night, if that.

I got stressed out over Chemistry... again. And I forgot to ask my dad about a tutor.. Hm. I need to do that. So I got to school late today, at the start of my first class. But I decided to ditch it, kinda last minute, to do some work. I've gotten some work done, but not nearly the amount I need to. Ugh.
I really need to stop ditching classes, because pretty soon here, I'm gonna get truancy. Which, if you don't know, means that basically I have to go to court and my dad can possibly get a fine since I have to be in school a certain amount of days a year. It's my fault I'm not going to class, but since I'm a minor, (under 18) he gets the fine. So I really need to start going to class.... It definitely isn't helping my grades any.
I have practice again tonight... and my last show. Ugh. I don't want to do it, just because I'm tired of it. But she let us add things to our performance, so I think it will be fun. I get to have a prison fight. :D Random, yes. But totally epic!! Annnnnd since it's the weekend, I am going to spend the rest of my night doing homework. No exceptions. I am going to take both my Ipod and my phone, and put them on the other side of my room or something if I have to. I am going to get everything done. Then I can enjoy my weekend. It's time for me to be strict again.
I'm feeling kinda anxious and scared at the moment, because my instructor wants us to wear T-Shirts for our show tonight, but there is no way that will hide the cuts on my arms. And I don't want people asking questions. I'll have to find a way to get out of that one. I don't really want to go to practice tonight, or perform, but I guess I will end up doing it regardless. One last time. My last practice of Winter guard before I graduate, my last performance. I just want  school to be over... meh! But at the same time, I don't because my grades suck so much.
Guess I better get on that.
Well, off to class I go!!




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