I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Friday Morning

I'm fasting today. No exceptions. I made myself a cup of coffee this morning, and that's all.
Maybe I'll have another cup later, but no solid food. For as long as I can stand to liquid fast, before I pass out.

I sent a friend of mine a picture of how pregnant I looked last night. I still look pregnant... I'm just hidingitbehind three hoodies so I can at least just appear fat and not pregnant. (Finally being warm is nice too!)
That picture though I enough to spoil the desire to eat at all. I'm fucking obese.
So! No food for me.

I shouldn't even be in school today as I don't have my binder and the rest of my school things. I hate being unprepared.. But this is a result of a choice that *I* made. So I have nobody to blame except myself.
I already know that I won't be attending either my AP Lit class or my Forensics class. I know exactly what that'll do to me, but I'm unprepared for them, so I can't go. I can't even bullshit my way though it. I need to get my ass in gear so that I can at least pass with semi-good grades. In 3/5 in my classes, I have C's. granted, they're within 2% of a B. I have one F (AP Lit), and a B. But that is not good enough. This is my last semester of high school, and I have to do better than this.

Anyways, enough of my bitching for now.
Peace.




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2 comments:

  1. Katie ElizabethFebruary 21, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    I doubt you look pregnant dear. I'm sorry that you're struggling so bad. I know how frustrating it is. I am having my second cup of coffee for the day. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:February 21, 2014 at 5:13 PM

      I definitely looked pregnant..
      I can't wait to see you tomorrow either. Xx

      Delete

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