I waited for you, today.
But you didn't show, no.
I needed you, today...
So where did you go?
You told me to call,
Said you'd be there.
And though I haven't seen you,
Are you still there?
I cried out with no reply,
I can't feel you by my side,
So I'll hold tight to what I know.
You're here,
And I'm never, alone.
I am so needy. Which is something I just don't get.
I have never needed people before; I was so comfortable on my own, happy.
What changed?
When did I start needing someone? Needing to talk to them, needing them to love me, needing their approval. When did I start depending on them so much that I couldn't imagine my life without them?
I really want to know.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
Whoever didn't show up for you should be ashamed of themselves...you deserve to have good people there for you.
ReplyDeletePeople need people...it's a fact of life. ;)
But I DON'T need people, and I never have. But something has changed, and I don't know what.
DeleteThanks for the support. You're such a great friend. Xx
You just keep saying you don't need people all day girl. :P I'll never believe you. Ever. I know you want it and I find myself hating it too, but the fact is, we were created to be that way. We were created to give and receive love and to be close to others. It's part of the human experience and there's no shame in it.
ReplyDeleteThere is when it surpasses normal human experience and into pure selfish territory.. I keep making everything into a way for me to be selfish, which is why I keep denying myself human comfort.
DeleteWe're selfish creatures. Go a little easier on yourself hun.
DeleteI'm trying so hard to be less selfish.
Delete