I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Fuck Me, Again

I ate a 280 cal 6" sub from Subway. It's only 280 cals but fuck me. I know for sure now that I'm not gonna lose any weight tomorrow.
My anxiety is so high and I took 8 laxies but fuck. They take time to work and I need them to work NOW. I hate having food in my stomach, but I hate feeling full more.
I am a waste of space. I would say I'm only human, but I'm not worthy of even being called that. I hate myself.
I know that I could have eaten a piece of lettuce and still felt worthless, but I don't care. I AM worthless. I don't deserve food. Food is for the living, and I don't even deserve to live.

I want to cut so badly right now. I hate this.
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2 comments:

  1. Katie ElizabethFebruary 23, 2014 at 12:05 PM

    I'm so proud of you for eating. And for not cutting. And you did better than me, I purged mine.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:February 24, 2014 at 7:18 AM

      Sadly enough, I think the exact opposite. That you did better than me because you purged and I didn't..

      Delete

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