I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Weight Loss!!

So after what I ate yesterday, and the laxies I took last night... The scale read 159.2.
I stepped off of it and stepped on it again, and the same number came up. It's still rediculously fat, but that's a loss. I'm not sure I trust it though.. Because just a few days ago I weighed at least 5 lbs more than that. Could I really be in the 150's??

I'm fasting as much as I can today, and then tomorrow ill weigh myself on a different scale and see. I'll be crushed if a higher number comes up.

It seems like every time I'm here I restrict/fast really well and always seem to lose weight. I love it.
If only I could figure out what makes such a thing possible here, but not at my house.

My next goal is 156. That's what I was supposed to weigh by the end of February. I fucked it up, but maybe there's a slight chance that I can still make it. There is 5 days left in February.
I guess I will know based on what the scale says tomorrow. Do I dare to hope?


3 comments:

  1. That's an amazing loss. I am so proud of you. And the reason why it's so much easier here is because you don't have prying eyes always watching you. You are free to do what you want here.
    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for giving me that opportunity. Even fleeting freedom is worth it. Xx

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