I don't think I did too bad on my History test. There were some things that I didn't know, but overall, I don't think I did bad. Which is surprising for me.
I don't have a lot of homework today either. Just some stuff from yesterday. And tomorrow I get to sleep in, and It's also my D.O.D. (Day of deciding). If I have reached my goal of losing 6 lbs by tomorrow, I continue on this path. (Drinking 3 liters of water, exercising when I can, eating once a day.) But if I haven't reached that goal, I'm giving up. Giving in. I've been trying far too long to get better, and seeing no results. So tomorrow is my last day of this indecision.
I also get to find out tomorrow if my grandma is going to put me in therapy. I don't know how I feel about that one. I think it could be good, but also that it could be very bad.
My life hasn't been too interesting lately. Just focusing on school and remembering to eat, mostly.
I started looking at colleges and finding some that offer Forensic Science majors. I had no idea that it was so hard. But I'm enjoying it. I feel like I have a purpose again. I've also been drawn into music.
***If anyone has any good music recommendations, I'd love to hear them!! Leave a comment!***
Here's a song i'm currently obsessed with (: just thought i'd share!
Giving up? NO! please.don't.give.up. on yourself. Darling You can do and get whatever you aim for. If loosing weight is what you what, then do it the healthy way. Starvation or drinking more water than you should be isn't going to help you. And its the truth. The future might scare you, 2moro might scare you but What you don't realize right now that your the only one who controls your future. Please make the right decision. Tell yourself Your strong and you'll do things the right way. <3
ReplyDeleteThe only problem with me doing it the healthy way, is that my family doesn't support that, they won't. So that's why it's so hard. That's why every time i've tried to get out of my eating disorder and be healthy has failed. That's what has pushed me more into my ED.
Delete3 liters isn't bad in terms of drinking water. It keeps me hydrated. And to be honest, i've only drunk about 2 a day, except for the first day.
I don't know what the right way is?
Does any of this make any sense to you? Sorry. But thanks. Xx
Why won't they support it? are they mental or something? I think they need therapy. Not you. Doesn't matter if youve failed once or twice. There's no reason you should give up on the right way, Afterall its you whos getting affected by it.
DeleteThey don't support it for a multitude of reasons. A few of them are that they have different ideas of healthy than the rest of the world. Like my idea of healthy really doesn't include greasy food, but theirs does. I have never liked it. Another reason they don't support it is because they don't have the money.I will admit, what I consider to be healthy (fruits, vegetables, things like oatmeal, apples, almonds, etc.) are more expensive than normal food. So I just haven't pushed as hard.
DeleteIt's like... I've begun to accept that my ED ways are going to be my lifestyle until I can get out and away from my family, but another, very very small part of me thinks that by then, it will be too late. Unfortunately that voice is overruled by the other voice that says there's nothing really wrong with what i'm doing. Because it's like.. This is how my life has always been. I didn't know there was anything wrong with it, that it wasn't healthy, until I had already fallen into my ED. So I don't knwo what is healthy.