If I told you everything in my head, you'd think I'm insane. That is, if you don't already.
Sometimes I don't even know what goes on in my head, but a lot of the time, I can ignore it. I guess I'm just..... confused. Yeah, that's it.
I don't know what I want, how to get there. I don't know if I can, or if I've unconsciously given up. I wish there was someone who could help me figure out whats in my head, but nope. That's humanity for you.
"Mirror mirror, on the wall,
Have I got it?
Cuz mirror you've always told me, who I am.
I'm finding it's not easy,
To be perfect..."
"Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you?
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should be,
I won't try, I won't try."
(Mirror by BarlowGirl)
These lyrics can only inspire me for so long. Even now as I write this, I don't want to post it because I'm afraid of being judged. But if I can't even post my own thoughts on my own blog, then what have I? So I guess I'll post this post after all.
I am still so confused. So lost. So messed up. So angry. So sad. I'm embarrassed that I'm still feeling this way, because it's like I should have already gotten over it. I am so tired of being negative. I am so sorry. But I'm not sorry for what I can't be, more sorry for not being strong enough. I feel like everyone can do it. But not me. I don't know how. Like I missed something. Why? I'm just so confused.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment