Wednesday I went shopping, and that is never good for my self esteem. Especially not this week, but I do have to say... it wasn't entirely bad.
I got some new jeans, which I was in need of. This made me pretty happy.
So wearing a pair of those jeans today, I must say.. I'm rocking them! :D
They make me feel good, oddly enough. And therefore, I'm in such a good mood!
I hope it sticks, we'll see.
I have my appointment tomorrow, and I hope that it goes well. I am super nervous, but I think I've got some of it down, and I've had some reassurances from some lovely people who have gone through this before. It's all made me a bit calmer about the whole thing.
I barely slept last night, it seemed that every time I got to sleep, if my arm touched any part of me, I woke up. If my leg touched any part of me, or any part of me was touching another part, I woke up. So you can probably imagine how little sleep I got. I woke up at 4 am this morning, totally awake. Ugh. I wasn't tired though, and I'm still not, so guess it couldn't be too bad.
I am happy that I can get a new phone without paying for it, and my dad had a somewhat freak out, because it's the only way to contact me when I'm not home. And my phone is the only communication keeping me sane right now. There's a couple people I talk to when I have meltdowns, or I'm wanting to self harm, or binge. And that will have to wait for 5 days. Ironically, I'm so happy that I don't even want to eat. I drank 1 liter of water this morning, and it's only 8. I intend to have coffee and water for lunch, and then I'm allowing myself sweet tea as a reward for doing well today. Not the best of methods, I know. But it's helping me cope. If I end up having to eat something, I am allowed an apple.
I have guard later as well, so that will take up 3 hours that I won't be able to eat. And of course I'll be having fun. So I'm pretty excited. I'm helping a friend of mine later, after school, so I won't be home then either. I'm happy to teach her how to throw tosses, and excited to have her in my season at school, as I know that we're going to have a great season!
That's pretty much it for what I'm doing today, and for once I'm super happy! :D
Today is a good day!
Hope that everyone out there is having a good day, and if you're not, then I hope your day gets better. ^_^
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
So glad to hear you're doing better =D
ReplyDeleteThanks! Xx
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