I'm leaving for Amsterdam in 13 hours.
What I feel right now?
Anger, panic, fear, excitement, anxiety, anticipation.
No scales. No blades. No laxatives. No release. Just me and my ED.
I signed up to do a walk for the National Eating Disorder Assosiation to raise awareness for Eating Disorders, and I'm so stoked to hopefully be able to do it. I still need people to donate, though.
Right now I want to cut. I want to end everything, and I can't pinpoint why.. There isn't one exact reason. It's a lot of things. But of course when I get this way, it's just best to keep to myself.
Stupiduglyfatworthlessnothingneedydependantattentionseekingwannabebitchstupiduglyfatworthless... It goes on and on and on. Round and round in my head.
I need help. Someone to talk to. I can admit that. Just someone to talk to...
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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