I've been taking some "caffeine" pills for about a week or so now. They're supposed to be fat burners, but they have about 200 mg of caffeine in them per capsule.
I like how they make me feel when I haven't eaten. I feel light and jittery. I shake a little, but I'll take that if it means losing weight.
I haven't weighed myself yet since I've started fasting, but I *have* to have lost weight. For my own piece of mind.
I'm not sure how things will be when I get home, because I've got a lot of stuff to do.
It seems like I can stay strong with fasting and restricting below 200 as long as I stay busy.
If I stop moving, I start eating. But the first two days are always the hardest. If I can fast successfully today, then tomorrow should be a lot easier.
I kind of want to weigh myself now, but I feel like the number wouldn't be accurate because it's not my scale. That doesn't make *any* sense at all, but nothing in my head seems to make any sense anymore.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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