I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

This week with my roommate has been shit. I try not to be home because that only stresses me out and I hate it. My dad and S get back on Thursday, and Cimiron leaves on Sunday.
Cimiron. I have no idea how I am going to handle that. It's become almost natural for him to be here. It's become like an everyday thing to know that he is here and that I can talk to him, and that I can see him. With him gone, I don't know how I'm going to feel.
But I know that I'm giving myself one year to reach my ugw. No more than that. I need to be strict with myself. I need to be perfect. I can't really mess up.

I took Cimiron over to meet my mom, and he seems to like her. Which is a good sign, I guess. We're going back over there today. I like being over there, but I don't at the same time.

I'm still cutting, but it's getting to be a struggle to hide. I'm working on it. The other day, I asked a friend of mine who is a well known drug user/dealer if she'd get me some Ecstasy. Her only response was "No. You should stick to weed, dude." That's all fine and dandy, I get that. But you can't stop me if that is what I wish to do. I'll just find someone else to get it from, I guess. I know I shouldn't, but something in me wants to.

I'll try to post again later today, hopefully making a little more sense. Haha. I'm enjoying the sunshine, and Cimiron. He likes to joke a lot at my expense, but hey. I guess it's good that I have a sense of humor. Right? 
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. EveAugust 7, 2013 at 6:46 AM

    I did MDMA which is nice X or Molly. It's like a general chill feeling. Not crazy. You can't do it too much or it fucks with your serotonin and I kinda felt depressed the next day or two. Be safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:August 7, 2013 at 4:48 PM

      I will keep that in mind and be careful, thanks! Xx

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)