I'm on day 1 of fasting and I have been high all day.
Well, I actually had around 400 liquid calories, but I burned somewhere around 400 - 500 from walking.
Right now I'm really hungry. Nobody else is home and it is like the perfect time to eat. I feel good about my intake and net cals today, and I don't want to fuck it up. I weighed in at 171.8 today and I feel like I could be somewhere around 170 tomorrow. My goal for December is 168. But I've had that goal for 2 months now and I'm starting to doubt I'll get there.
But mayby this time, with Christmas coming up, I can actually starve properly and get there.
On December 8th I was at 169.4 and I was so close until I fucked it up. I will not do that again.

Last night, my dad caught me smoking weed. Right before that, my roommate caught me smoking weed. Because I was stupid. She saved my ass, but I have to prove I'm not. (even though I am)
Just another lie.
It's so sad how that's all I've become.
So now I've got to go out of my way to get high before I get home and to keep from smelling like it.
I've got to keep fooling everyone for three more months. That seems like such a long time. Actually, two and a half more months. But still.
I don't know where my friends and my boyfriend fit in with my life. I'm not really there anymore.

Anyways.. I had 1 of my 2 finals today and I honestly think I did pretty well. Math has never been my strong point, but the math I'm currently in seems to be going alright.
Tomorrow I have my English final. I missed a huge assignment in class and it dropped my grade down to about a D. I remember when English used to be my best subject. So now I need to do well on THAT final so that I can raise my grade. I'm disappointed with myself about school as much as it is, if I get a D in English I don't know exactly what I'll do.

So that's my little rant-ish update for the day. I'm now gonna crawl under my warm blankets and try to sleep and forget about food.