I tried to call in sick today to work considering how shitty I felt.
But they told me that they were very busy and low on workers and that they needed me as asked if I could make myself well enough to come in for a few hours. After getting nowhere, I finally said I'd try to come in.
I lasted 3 hours. Barely. I kept needing to lean on walls, counters. I kept needing to steady myself so I wouldn't pass out or throw up. I was dizzy and lightheaded but nobody noticed. Finally I told her I had to go, and she let me. I couldn't believe she made me work. I told her I had the flu, and I'm not even lying. I also looked at the schedule and I'm scheduled to work three 7 hour shifts for the next couple of days. Haha right.
Right now it's 11 pm and I can't sleep. Thanks to the fact that I can't eat any solid food (and haven't eaten for the last 2 days) I had to fill myself up with soda. But I drank too much too fast and now I feel full and sick. My mind keeps saying WATER. WATER. WATER. But my body is still so full I can't drink anything. I don't know what to do.
Tomorrow I'm going to call in for sure. There is absolutely no way I'll feel better by then, honestly. I don't know if I've got the flu or something else, but it fucking sucks. I like that I have no appetite, but I don't like the dizzyness that threatens to pull me to the ground every time I stand up.
Some people tell me I get sick too often. I know I do, but I guess I'm just so used to it that I don't really mind anymore.
Anyways, that's my update. I really hope I can get out of working tomorrow. I'm gonna cross my fingers.
And maybe I'll actually get some sleep tonight for the first time in three days. Woo!
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment