I don't know how I can stand to live in my life. In my head.
I'm a failure at everything I do. All I do is cut, complain, sleep, and get fat. I'm a worthless human being and I don't deserve to live.
I want to cut so deep, I want to use my knife, I want to get lost. I don't want to live here, anywhere. I don't want to exist. But I should, as a punishment to myself.
I deserve to die in hell. I hate myself so much. I wish there was somebody I could tell, but I know I'm on my own. Waste of Space I am.
I'm probably gonna fail finals tomorrow too. I didn't study, I never put any effort into my work because I'm pathetic.
Even my boyfriend has given up and left me. I deserve nothing and no one. I wish I could throw myself under a bus, or get hit by a car. I wish I could jump off a cliff, or anything. I wish I could give my pathetic life up so someone else who is better could take my place.
I hate everything about myself. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, because nothing ever changes.
I just want to crawl in a hole and die. Fuck it, I don't even deserve the hole.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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