So I know I've been having a really tough time in my recovery, with feeling down, feeling like I'm overeating, which I'm really not, and just negativity in general since a lot of stuff is happening in my life right now. But I thought I'd try to name some of the things I like about myself, to help keep my good mood (^-^) I'll keep updating it as I think of more things, but for now, this is what I have!
So here it goes..
1. I love that I'm so independent. I see people who suffer a lot because they depend on people who eventually leave them, and it leaves them heartbroken. Though it may sound really snobby? if that's the right word, I enjoy that I don't have to worry about that. I enjoy being able to depend only on myself.
2. I love my smile. It's not perfect by any means, and I do have a tooth that goes over my other ones, but I love it. It's crooked, and half the time, I look kinda creepy when I smile (KIDDING), but I love it.
3. I love my attitude. I don't really care about anyone else, though not in a mean way. I mean like the thoughts and things that other people say don't bother me. Most of the time. Usually, I just go by how or what I feel, and nobody else can change that.
4. I love my sense of style - or rather, lack of one. I mostly wear darkish colors, though that's changing. I love skinny jeans, but wear flare jeans, and others too. I love band T-Shirts, or T-Shirts that have really cool designs on them. They make me feel comfortable, like home I guess? Because for me, home is wherever the music is. xD
5. I love my sarcasm. This may sound really odd, but I do. It allows me to joke with people, and make fun of my friends, but in a mutual way. I can't really explain it. It's just like my sarcasm is a huge part of who I am, how I interact with people. I use it when I'm in an awkward situation, or like when I want to break the ice, or get someone to laugh. Either way, it's me and I love it.
6. I love my determination. I love how I can set my mind on something and nobody can change it. I love how when I'm determined to do something, I will stop at nothing to get it done. And usually that takes a while, because I don't really set short term goals. Well I do, but they're all things that take a little while to accomplish.
7. I love my intelligence. I want to learn almost everything and anything that I can, and I won't stop until I absolutely have to. In school, I'm always trying to be as smart as I can, to do things as best as I can, to get as far as I can. I am always trying to be better than I was yesterday, but not to the point that that is all I think about. It's in a healthy moderation, I guess.
8. I love how random I can be. For example, on the first day of school my Freshman Year, I didn't know ANYONE, because I was from out of district. And everyone pretty much knew everyone, because they had all gone to middle school together. So I walked around the school and waved and said HI! to everyone I passed by, brandishing the biggest smile I could make. Why? Because I felt like it. It was just a random thing to do. Another example, is when my grandma took me to the store because they needed a new toilet brush. So we got one, and as we were walking throughout the store, I started using it as a sword and fighting the objects around me. I kept poking my grandma with it. But it made me happy, and despite the weird looks I got, I had so much fun. I even got my grandma to laugh with me!
9. I love my talent for the violin. Or rather, my passion. I don't mean to sound full of myself or cocky, but I love it, I love the way it sounds, and seeing as I've been playing since 5th grade, I think I've gotten good. I mean I can be so much better, because I'm not a prodigy or anything, but I'm not half bad, if I do say so myself.
10. I love my strength. I don't usually let people push me down, or I don't stay down for long. I try to keep my head up, do the best that I can with my situation, and learn from it. Every hurt I go through, just helps to make me stronger, and i'm greatful for that.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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