Today is not hot, it's around 73 degrees. It rained a little earlier, but now it's just overcast, yet not hot nor cold. It's perfect. It's beautiful.
I was out enjoying the day, I'm thinking about going for a run to just unwind... I just got back from my dad's and I'm so incredibly upset by seeing my room again, I'm practically shaking with rage and defeat. It feels like I lost, that he has everything. And I hate that. I don't exactly want to win, but I don't want to lose. I hate it!!!!! I want my life back, my freedom. I want my room, my stuff, and to not be so angry. But at the same time I want to be here because I want to be relaxed, not upset, to exercise, it's closer to school, etc. How do I win?
I don't know. I wish I did. Or that there could be someone who could point out the next step. Give me a hint. I don't know. I'm defeated right now, or stuck in this limbo. I hate it.
Well I'm gonna take a deep breath, go outside, maybe go for a run before I eat lunch, if I eat lunch. There's not a lot of healthy food around here at the moment, and that's kinda irritating. I just want to chill out, relax. Maybe it'll get better later. I don't really know.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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