Yesterday was amazing, mostly because I got to be with Cimiron. But also because I have a new perspective, in that fights I may have had with my dad may have stemmed from anger. I mean, even though he said a lot of things he should have never said, and so did I, that doesn't mean that he meant to push me away and destroy me. I don't think he can be any way else, or that he knows how to deal with it in any other way. And right now, I can't find it in me to forgive him, but maybe down the road, I can.
I know I won't be able to hold the grudge for long, but I can try. I need to focus on me right now, and doing what's best for me. He can wait. But I'm not going to worry about that and let it make everything negative, as it has before.
Anyways, yesterday I went to the park, and we hung out and played around on the playground. Then we went to lay in the grass, and I told him everything. About why I kept holding on to the Bulimia, what happened with my dad, everything. And he did something a lot of people would never do - he listened. He didn't try to offer any advice, not at first. He just listened. That was huge, and when he did offer advice, it was perfect. I had a good time, and it was nice to be able to be with him. Then I watched him kill a bunch of mini dinosaurs, which he hated. I don't understand why, but oh well.
Then he made me dinner! Okay, it wasn't huge, it was soup and bread/cheese sticks. But still, it was really thoughtful and I thought it was kinda sweet.
I got to hang out with him today as well, and it was great! We went to Olde Town, which is kinda this little place with a bunch of shops, it's pretty neat. And then he dragged me into the fountain, which was fun, and we both got totally soaked. I got to push him through it though, and he did have it worse seeing as he was wearing pants. So we walked around for a while until we dried off.
When we finally walked back to my house, we just hung out, and we ate lunch, which was pretty good! Then a while later, we both ate dinner, which was nice! We got to hang out until a little while ago, when he had to go home, but an amazing day with him? YES!!!! :D It's definitely yet another day that makes this summer unforgettable, and while he's gotta leave Friday, for now, i'm just gonna enjoy the time we have left.
That's what i've done recently. Anyone else have anything fun they did? I'd love to hear about it! I can't be the only one here! :D Haha just kidding, but seriously!!
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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