Wake Up

Today's been somewhat of a wake-up call.
I realized how many things I've been procrastinating in these last few weeks (small things that add up). Especially applying to college.
I also know that I need to step up to the plate and get all my stuff done.
I also ditched a class today, and lied about why I wasn't there.

I've successfully liquid fasted today, though I don't know if it will show on the scale tomorrow. I'm getting tired of playing this game, so I'm not going to eat a single bite of food until I reach 165. Nothing. I don't care if it kills me.

My family is also continuously on me about getting a job, and then I am told by several family members that I don't pay for my own phone so I need to get a job because they "can't pay for everything alone."
So fine.
If they're gonna hold it over my head, I'm giving up my phone.
Which basically means giving up my life. I mean that in the best way.
I talk to my boyfriend via phone (it's a ldr)
I talk to my brothers (both) via phone as they live out of reach.
I talk to other family *cough, cough* with my phone, but I'd manage.
My phone is where I place notes, keep calendars, talk to some ana friends that keep me sane.
But if they're going to control me with it - I don't want it.
I hate that my dad has control over me since I'm "underage" for 3 more months, and that's bad enough. I'm not gonna let other people control me if I have the power to change it.

I just get frustrated because I have an ED. I struggle with self harm, depression, other personal issues. School is a stress. College. My family dynamic causes a lot of stress. My roommate was in the hospital (she's also dating my dad). There's just so much stress going on and I feel like a) a job would add to my stress and just be another thing I fail at and b) I keep getting rejected and it isn't entirely my own fault.
But they see none of that. To them, I'm just a lazy teenager who likes to take advantage of others.

I so can't wait to move out in 3 months.