Right now I'm sitting in a car with my dad and my two roommates.
They're joking about memories with my brother when he was a little kid. All the things he did.
My dad is joking about memories from when he was a kid. They're all laughing.
I just feel on the outside of it all.
Yes, I know it's my fault that I'm outside of it all instead of joining in. But I just don't feel like I'm a part of my family.
They're happy, carefree and laughing. Who would I be to ruin that?
I can't. I won't let my darkness touch them.
I've never known my dad as a kid. He's never shared memories with me, or mentioned his childhood. My grandparents talk about it, sometimes. But he never does. So I guess it makes me a little mad to know that she can unlock the happiness in him but I only bring out the anger and the hatred.
Who is the man I know as my dad? I mean, really?
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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