I think I've realized why I don't like this lady in my house.

She's been there for like a day, and she's bought so much food. Like she literally went grocery shopping, even though we had food at our house. And she's cleaning my house, too.
Now, normally that isn't bad, right?
But it makes me feel so guilty, that she thinks my house needs to be cleaned.

I hate letting people into my house, because I feel like they always judge how my dad and I live. Her son, who is 17 like me, said that he's shocked that our upstairs living room is basically a storage for my dad's tools. That's where my dad puts all of his tools for work, and it it just feels like that's normal. But I guess not.
I know that my house is different than other people's, and that it isn't really like a "home". I never bring my friends (what few I have) over, and I don't spend much time there myself. If I do spend time there, it's in my room. That's it.

The other day, they got home while I was smoking, and I felt like she knew, even though she never saw. When she mentioned that we were having dinner, I panicked a little, and some of my ED habits came out. She saw them, and I feel like she keeps staring at me, trying to find something that's not right. Ugh.

Anyways, she offered to take me to school this morning, and keeps trying to push food on me. I keep telling her that I'm not hungry, I don't want food.
I have to hide so much from her, and it's different. With my dad, he never really pays attention to me. He doesn't notice if I don't eat, or if I do something that is ED related. But this lady, I feel like she's trying to take the place of my mom. I don't need a mom, I have never needed a mom, and this lady is a joke if she thinks that she can act like one for me.

After my dad's second wife, I said fuck it. I wasn't going to let anyone act as a part of my family ever again. And that's what I feel like this lady is doing, and it irritates me. I think she knows about the weed, so I'm afraid she'll tell my dad. But whatever. I can deny it, right? And besides, it's not like she'll find any evidence. She kept looking at me, finding reasons to knock on my door. I was burning sage this morning, and I know that most people don't do that, but I felt like it was my room to do what I wanted.

I want this lady out. I want her out of my house, I want her out of my life, I don't like her, I don't like what she's trying to do, I don't like the threat she poses to me, and I don't trust her.
I have guard tonight and I get home late. I don't like that, because I feel like she could go into my room. I don't think she's that kind of person, and the only incriminating things she could find in my room would be my laxatives and my razor blade. Everything else is pretty well hidden. But just that thought.

What is wrong with me? When did I get so paranoid?
I'm never this bad.