Ever tried convincing someone they're useful, helpful, loved, appreciated and that they mean something to you when you can't even convince yourself of that?
It's so difficult.
But there are about 2 people in my life I'd do anything for. Absolutely anything, and I'd find a way to do it. They mean the world to me. One of them is Lovely Bones. She's smart, beautiful, talented, kind, and she means the world to me. I may never have met her, but I guess that doesn't matter.
I only wish she could see how amazing she is, herself.
I wonder if people wish that about me too?
I turned in some of my Math homework, but I failed a Spanish speaking quiz. I used to be so good at that class, and now I suck.
At least it's a Friday.
I'll probably head to the library after school, and then ask for a ride home since I have no way to get there otherwise. Oh, did I mention I lost $40 last week? Yeah... The forty bucks that get me everywhere since I don't have a car/my license yet. Pretty awesome, right? So nobody knows that I don't have it anymore, and therefore I just have to bullshit my way through the rest of this month. Woo.
That's just an update. I wanted to tell the world how amazing Lovely Bones' is. I consider her one of my closest friends, and she understand everything and helps me so much. I don't know where I'd be without her.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
She really is a wonderful person, I love her to bits too.
ReplyDeleteI'm always trying to convince people that they're beautiful, wonderful, special beings who are deeply loved and don't deserve pain. I wish I could convince myself of that too. I think a lot of us do this - we wish suffering away from others while believing we truly deserve it ourselves.
I wish you could see yourself for the precious soul you are, too. You're in my thoughts <3 xx
Maybe if enough people tell her, she'll eventually believe it. I agree with you that a lot of us do that - the wishing pain away from everyone, but not ourselves. It's a bad habit.
DeleteBut one we know well.
You're so sweet. (: <3
Oh, I so hope she'll believe it because you're absolutely right. She's amazing. And you're too to say that like that I really hope she reads this soon <3
ReplyDeleteI told her to read it. (:
DeleteI'm honestly speechless.
ReplyDeleteDarling you are the most wonderful person, there is nothing not to love about you. You're the most amazing friend I could hope for. You're always here for me no matter what, I just wish I could make you see how incredible you are and how you've truly changed my life for the better. I'd be completely lost without you.
I'm really proud of you for handing in some the Maths work, you will get back on top of it all, no matter how overwhelming it all is right now, I promise you I'll always be here for you and I'll do anything I can to make it all easier. I'm so sorry about the loss of the money, that must be horrible, you don't deserve bad luck like that.
I honestly love you so much, I wish I could make you see just how perfect you are.
And thank you so much Bella and Tatyana, you're both such wonderful people. I really don't even know what to say. I've been feeling terrible all day, and this has really lifted my mood. Thank you all so so much.
I'm so glad that it could make you happier. That's all I want. I want to help you, and you deserve to be happy. I hope you can find a way to be happy soon.
DeleteXxx