I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

I'm not sure how it's possible...
But I feel really suicidal.

My legs look like a war zone, and I can't stop self harming.
I can't stop eating, and though to most people I'm not eating a lot, it feels like it to me.

The only other time I've felt this suicidal was when I OD'd.
I really want to just fucking die.

I'm always suicidal. Like it's always at the back of my mind, and it's always in my thoughts. But in a somewhat passive way.
Not anymore.
It's here, it's overwhelming, and I don't know what to fight for anymore.

Posted by at

9 comments:

  1. EveMarch 16, 2013 at 10:52 PM

    Please please email me okay?
    aSinforEve10@gmail.com
    You are worth it sweetie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM

      I emailed you, Eve.

      Delete
    2. EveMarch 18, 2013 at 8:51 AM

      Book it must have went to junk because I've looked! Ahhh hun gah I'm sorry!

      Delete
    3. J (:March 18, 2013 at 9:03 AM

      I resent it.

      Delete
    4. EveMarch 18, 2013 at 10:15 AM

      Hoping this is sarcasm lol. I sent you one!

      Delete
  2. TatyanaMarch 17, 2013 at 12:15 AM

    You can e-mail me too, write it out two times is better than one bubbleraindrops@gmail.com or then google you local suicide line, there's phone numbers you can call when you feel like that.

    Hang in there ok, you're worth of much more than this.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM

      Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to talk to someone.

      Delete
  3. Emily AnonymousMarch 18, 2013 at 7:04 AM

    Fight for the future.
    You have the presence of mind to write down what you're feeling and you know that it's bad, which is good- it means you're not letting the thoughts overwhelm your reasoning.
    You're stronger than you think. I have faith that you can get through this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 18, 2013 at 7:18 AM

      I might write, but I have no reasoning. I no longer care. I have nothing to fight for anymore, and no will to fight with. I've given up. If that makes me a coward, so be it.

      Delete

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