I am me.

I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.

But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.

My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.

This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Why can't you see through my bullshit?
I am trying to show you, but you can't hear me.
I can't explain with words how I feel.
I just need you to know.
Need you to see.
I'm trying....
See me.
Please.
Posted by at

15 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 29, 2013 at 9:20 PM

    You are trying. We are proud of you. Don't give up. Hold on, for us, we love you!!! You are amazing, you are so much more than you believe you are. You are able to do this. You can pull through. Just don't give up. You CAN do this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:45 PM

      I wish I could see what you see. Even just a little bit. It would make things so much easier, give me just a little bit of hope.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 8:55 PM

      Hold on just a little bit longer. Just one more day. I am here for you. If you want to call or email me just let me know and I will email you. I really want to help you, I'm desperate to do something for you. I really care about you, I don't want you to go. Please, let me be here for you! The world needs you, I know it's easy not to understand, but we do. I need you. I need you here on this blog posting every day, so that I know your okay. Your blog readers need you.
      Please, for us.

      Delete
    3. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:57 PM

      Will you email me?
      hugdapuppies@gmail.com

      Delete
    4. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 9:03 PM

      sent!!!

      Delete
  2. AnonymousMarch 30, 2013 at 5:23 AM

    This is so sad because it is so real. I totally understand what you mean. Its so hard sometimes to tell someone you need to talk and sometimes its even harder to understand why they can't just read your mind and know that you need them.

    Hang in there, lovely. We are all here for you. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:47 PM

      I feel like I tell all these people that I need to talk, and that I need them. But maybe i'm not talking to the right people.
      In which case, how do I determine who the right person is?

      Delete
  3. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 8:56 AM

    Today is Easter Sunday...I don't know if you celebrate this day or not, but this is the day that Jesus rose from the dead after a cruel death. He rose for YOU. He loves you so much that He suffered for hours on the cruel cross just to give you a CHANCE. It doesn't matter what you have done, He loves you just the way you are. And if you let Him, He will turn your life around and let you know that He loves you more than anything. More than His own life. You might not believe this, but ignoring a fact doesn't make it go away. "May the Arms (HIS arms, JESUS's arms) that hold the universe, hold you close tonight..." You can't get better on your own...the only, ONLY way you can ever kick this depression, doubt, disorder, is through Him. Maybe you don't believe me now, but at the end of the day, He is the only one who can help.
    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:50 PM

      I don't believe in god. Sorry.
      Never have, never will. But thanks. Xx

      Delete
    2. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 8:50 PM

      You will when you die.

      Delete
    3. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:52 PM

      Why do you say that?

      Delete
    4. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 8:56 PM

      Because you are going to meet Him. I promise you that.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousMarch 31, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    Don't give up. Please.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CocoMarch 31, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    Please, please!!! DON'T just lose your life. You don't know what will happen when you die...you DON'T.
    Don't give up!!! PLEASE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J (:March 31, 2013 at 8:51 PM

      I don't. You're right. I don't know what's after death. But could it really be worse than this? Worse than what i'm living in right now?
      I can't seem to think that it does.

      Delete

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