The Eye of The Stom

I've been trying to kid myself for these past few weeks.
Saying that things are chaotic and busy, and stressful, and that's why I can't talk to Cimiron.
But in reality, I don't want to talk to him because I'm hurt.
I'm angry and I'm hurt, but I don't feel validated, so I say nothing, and keep it all inside.
I make excuses, avoid what I know, much favoring to look over it.
I pretend that everything is okay.

But it's not.
I knew long distance relationships were hard.
I may not have known what I was getting myself into, but I wanted to take the risk anyways.
And I can honestly say that I love him with all my heart, and that he means everything to me. But these long periods of time between talking to him make me anxious, hurt, and I don't like it at all.

Relationships are doomed to fail, if there is no communication.
And that's how it is right now.
It's not just my fault. It's his too.
And I'm not sure how to fix it.
I'm trying, but maybe not the right way. All I know, is that I see an end to my relationship soon, if we can't fix this. And I do mean SOON.

I can feel myself on the verge of a great emotional storm. But right now, I'm just numb. It's like I'm in the eye of the storm, and as much as I might wish it to, it can't always stay that way.
Eventually, I'll get to the outside, where all the chaos and mayhem is, and when I do...
Well - Wish me luck.