I feel less and less like a human being every day.
Less and less like I'm worth anything.
More and more selfish.
More and more scared.
Of everything. Everyone.

When I was younger, and my dad was still married to my then "step-mom", I had a "step-brother". He and I were like best friends, as we were pretty close in age. He was younger, but only by a year.
When we would play, sometimes we'd get in fights. My step-mom would send us to our rooms, and then go talk to each one of us individually to see what happened.
I would never be able to give the same story of the events twice.. And my story never matched up with his. Now, you might think I was just lying or trying to get out of trouble. My step-mom did too. But it was more than that. I honestly could not remember what had happened. Though it was only maybe a half hour before, I would always forget. I don't know if I thought it was unimportant or what, but I could never remember what had happened between my step-brother and I before we fought. Needless to say, I always got in trouble because of it. She and my dad would always think I was lying, hiding things, etc. But I never was. I simply couldn't remember.
It's always been this way. In several different situations, I would find myself looking back to try to remember what happened - only to find it blank. I would know what happened, but I could never recall basic events that led up to it, only the end result.
I thought that was just a childhood thing, something I'd grow out of.
But even now, I find myself in the same situations. Not able to remember simple things that I should be able to. Is there something wrong with me?
Or am I just that stupid? If I'm honest, sometimes it scares me. But most of the time, I just think that I really am that stupid. I don't know if it's something you grow out of or if it's something I'll always have to deal with... But I know it definitely isn't normal.