Today is Thursday, but it's my last day of this week for school. I have a four day weekend after this, which I'm excited about. I've been working on all of my work, in little amounts. Not doing as much as I know I should, and avoiding the big stuff. But I'm trying.
I'm avoiding thinking about all of my finals, but eventually I'll have to face them. I just.. I don't know.
I haven't even started on my English Final essay, which is a literary analysis of Hamlet. I just don't know how to write it or how to start or anything. Oh, and the written part of the exam is also on Hamlet. Which means I'm fucked. For my other two finals, I think I can use notes/review sheets, so that shouldn't be too hard. But I don't know what I'm going to do about my Algebra II final. Just study, I guess.
I wish I knew someone who understood Hamlet. That would make my life a hell of a lot easier. Because I've read the play, several times. I've watched the movie (directed by Zefferelli) and I still can't understand Hamlet enough to write a literary analysis essay. Ugh.
I have to write it by Monday. I'm so stressing. But I guess, if nothing else, I will just have to pull it out of my ass. It's a college English class, so I'm getting college credit for it. Which is why I'm worrying about it so much.

Friday I am going to breakfast with my mom, and I'll probably end up spending the day over there. I'm kinda excited about it, because it would be nice to talk to her. But at the same time, I've got so many irrational fears and questions. What if she thinks I'm fat? Should I try to hide my ED food habits from her? How much should I tell her? What should I say? I don't trust her, but I'm not against trusting her either, so how much is enough? What if she judges me? She has an ED too, so I know for a fact that I'll compare myself to her. She's already so much smaller than me, so what if I'm not enough? Being social is hard for me, a lot of the time. So I guess a lot of these worries might stem from that, but that doesn't make them any easier to deal with.

Also, I've noticed that I count everything. I count the number of napkins on the table (and they have to be even), I count the number of steps I take. Like on a sidewalk, I have to take the same number of steps per square. I have to. I count my breaths, how many times I blink. I count how many times I tap a table. I count literally everything that you could think of to count. I don't know why. But I have to do it. To add to that, all of my numbers have to be even. I do everything in sets of 2, 4, or 6. Rarely 8, but only certain things then.

So yeah, that's my life. Just need to get through today. Shouldn't be too hard. Now it's time for Chem. >.<