Nothing is going right. Not today.
I woke up and felt sick so I didn't go for a run. Then I fell back asleep for a bit and missed my alarm, so I almost missed the bus.
The way my pants fit bothers me. The way that I gained .6 lbs from yesterday makes me bitchy. The way I walk irritates me. School irritates me. I'm stressing about my project, and about another week in school. I don't think I can do another week.
I need a break.
I need to take a step back from everything and just breathe, but if I do that then I'll fall even farther behind.
Thanksgiving gives me anxiety, though still 2 weeks away. Making conversation with anyone just feels too difficult right now.
I just need a break. I need more than just a few hours though. I need a few days. A week. To just not stress about school, work, tests, food, anything. To not *have* to do anything. To just be.
But I've still got at least 9 more days before I'm on break. I keep telling myself to just keep going. That I'm so close and my hard work will pay off. I keep telling myself that somehow everything will work out and then I will know I can rest and be proud of myself.
I just wish those 9 days would hurry up.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
Hang in there, sweetie. You're 2/3 through!!!
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