Finally.

My research project has been stressing me out for weeks. This is literally the decision that determines if I will graduate or not.
I'm that close to the edge in that class.
So I've spent weeks dreading this day, but that hasn't stopped it.
I've put everything else on hold for this project, but it never stops.
I finally finished my poster today, not that I had a choice. My instructor was taking it whether I was done or not. I couldn't actually finish because I hadn't finished the research paper, though I (sort-of) finished it tonight.
I got home around 6:30pm and I went almost immediately to project mode. I'm required to dress professionally for tomorrow, which is a problem because the only pair of dress pants I owned were too big for me. I had no dress shirt, no idea what to do. So... My roommate came in. She offered some of her clothes that might fit, and I did eventually find an outfit that works. I then moved on to the paper.
I tried and tried and tried to get it to be long enough. I wasn't able to add new sources (since I put my previously-finished bibliography on my poster and can't have more resources in my paper then I did on my poster). So I tried to make it long enough to fill up the required pages. My instructor wanted 25 pages. My end result? I had 9. I just couldn't make it long enough.
So I worried about that. Then I had to copy it on to word, once I'd "finished" so that I could print it out - and my computer wouldn't format it right. Then my printer ran out of paper halfway through my essay, and we had to hunt for more.
Then I started feeling so frustrated that I wanted to cry - but I held back the tears. For a little. When I finially finished, entirely exhausted, I printed and ran to my room just in time to break down in tears. I hate this fucking project with a passion.
Maybe I cried for several reasons. I don't know. I just kneew that I couldn't stop. Not for a while anyways.
(To be continued)